Some relationships made me wonder why I fell for his lies. Why we hopped in and out of each other’s beds. Phones. Lives.
“He started speaking, and I started listening. The more his words entered in my ear, the more my mind believed that what he desired of me was worth giving him. He continually campaigned for his agenda. My guards wore down. Until I finally nominated him as the president of my mind and emotions. He said whatever was necessary to be voted into my life, but he had no intention of being devoted to my heart.” (From the book: Confidence B4 Commitment)
Before a snake slithers in, his silver tongue needs a captive audience (which I kept giving). Eventually, I asked God for wisdom and understanding. I saw why I became the common denominator that wound up being the bitten denominator.
It’s vital to know that just because he’s a male who glitters (sparkling words, charm), doesn’t mean he’s a godly man.
1. He spiritually speaks but is sexually focused. He knows “God talk” phrases to engage you but steadily pressures your sex boundaries. If you said yes without blinking, he’d be willing without thinking about soul ties…or you sinking.
2. He changes the subject or leaves whenever spiritual matters arise. If a man truly spends time in God’s presence, he won’t respond with absence. The intimacy transfixes you and draws you to share with kindred souls.
3. He makes public appearances but lacks a personal relationship. Going to church is a routine. He’ll bend over backward for work, sports, video games, kids, and ways to make money. But he doesn’t make any effort to dig into God's word by himself, for himself. He can’t articulate what God is saying to him because won’t ask or listen to direction.
4. He has you initiate anything pertaining to God. He wants to be respected as “the go-to man with a plan.” But when it comes sharing a devo, testimonies, praying, or even going to church…you’re left with being the “the go-to girl in the spiritual world.”
5. He rides your faith coattail. He might as well be named “Mr. Chameleon” because he'll change into whatever you want him to be, to get whatever he wants to have. He doesn't rightly divide the word of truth. God's word is according to what you say.
6. He doesn't stand under anyone for understanding. Beyond Sunday morning, he refuses to get revelation and wisdom from a pastor, advisor, mentor, or prayer partner to help him grow closer to the Lord.
7. He can't answer simple truths or share a scripture. If he claims to be a Christian, he should have some basics ready to whip out anytime, anywhere. (i.e. plan of salvation, the Lord ’s Prayer, Psalm 23:1 c’mon!)
8. His crowd doesn't show a lick of fortitude in God. Yes, birds of a feather may flock together, but many can’t handle the weather. How do his friends, family, and influences handle temptations? Challenges? Blessings? Who do they submit to?
9. He objectifies you and other women. When you step back and analyze him, see if he’s more of a protector or a violator. Does he view you as a gift or a token to a game he’s willing to play? Godly men honor God by cherishing God’s daughters.
10. His awakening relies on your action. When you fall off or get spiritually discouraged/lazy/hurt, does he waver too? If you don’t pray, will he? If you don’t attend Bible study, will he? An ungodly man stays in a stupor until you sound the alarm for him to wake up!
If you’ve fallen for a snake, God is able to heal those undeniably deep wounds and wash away the regret. But be alert! It makes no sense for you to be a wonderfully powerful gifted and guided woman who can’t distinguish a fake vs. a man of sincere faith. Remember you deserve having a man who won’t just glitter… but a man who is godly and will treat you better than gold.
Ever fell for a man who seemed godly, but wasn’t? What advice would you give someone who’s falling for disguised snake? Drop a comment below, I want to hear your feedback!